Bring on Everton

A totally dominating performance by Stevie G & Co. saw Liverpool ease past hapless Newcastle last night. Owen's reurn to Anfield didn't exactly turn out as planned.
And how much better is 'Arry Kewell getting? Quite a bit, I have to say. The cross for the second goal was perfect, although he did screw up about 10 attempts before finally getting it right. Keep it up, 'Arry!!
Next is Everton, and I'm pretty sure we'll get through that particular battle safely. Just don't let pussy Garcia play.

New Years coming up but sadly I'll be celebrating it in the middle of NOWHERE.


Merry Christmas!

I don't usually watch Malay movies at the cinemas, for obvious reasons (i.e they're crap and cheesy) but I did manage to haul myself to TGV over the weekend and watch a comedy entitled Baik Punya Cilok.
And surprisingly, it was an enjoyable experience.
Ok, initially I thought it was another stupid movie, or probably a movie that's trying to be too cool. The familiar-looking, Reservoir Dogs-style movie poster further added to my early scepticism. Ohh, another Tarantino rip-off, how lame.
But it turned out that it was nothing like RD.
It was hilarious and funny. Funny funny. Smart funny, I should say. It's not like a movie where someone runs around and gets in the head kind of funny. No, no.
There's Awie in the movie. And man, he is a funny dude, whether that's intentional or not I'm not too sure. This is the only movie that had Awie in it that I'm not ashamed to say "Good movie". Yeah, I didn't think I'd say that. But there you go. And hey, weirder things have happened. Seeing Awie without his (Harley) bike is rather strange though.
It's really a good movie, and I mean it. Do yourself a favour and watch it.


Orang tamak selalu rugi

Ahh.. it's the season to get married, it seems. Or get engaged, at the very least. Two of my friends are getting married (not to each other!) this weekend, and one's getting engaged the next. In fact, I've been to wedding ceremonies the most this year compared to any other.
So obviously love is in the air.
Which brings the question of whether or when will I get married?
Hear that?
Sounds like peer pressure.

Honestly, I don't know. I don't know a lot of things. Like, am I going to marry the current girl?
That's hard.


We're now 3rd.

After a hugely satisfying victory and an excellent display against poor Wigan, coupled with Arsenal pretty boys' unability to answer Bolton's spirited aggression, the Mighty Reds are now third. Back in the top three although the margin with Chelsea is embarassingly huge. Big gaps are not good. Tight ones are better. Always better.

The game itself was a night to remember for our lanky cat-looking (well, at least I think so) Peter Crouchie. First one was an own goal, but the second was quite good really. Nice lob over the keeper. And good control and great long ball prior to that.

Everyone had solid, if not great games. Warnock, initially I feared will cause some panic in our own defence but as the game wore on, he did quite OK. Gerrard & Alonso were controlling the midfield and dare I say it; Harry "what the fuck is going on with my pony tail" Kewell had a decent game as well. I particularly liked his outside of the right foot one touch pass to Morientes in the first half. Class.

All in all, great win. I must say, this is the first time since our Champions League victory that I felt this good after a match. I was practically grinning the whole night.



You can't really trust gadis bertudung nowadays, eh. They'll happily give you fellatio if you play your cards right. You could even record them on your mobile phone, if you're THAT good. It's true. No kidding. But I'm sure you've got at least one of them clips on your high tech phones already, so you know what I'm saying, right??

Hey, what's fellatio? Get a dick-tionary and you'll know.

Hey, there's a band named Machine Gun Fellatio. Check them out. They're kinda weird.


How bad is the show SOCCASTARS MALAYSIA?
Very much. Awful. Horrific. Pathetic.

I watched one of the 6-minute "highlights" just now. The "soccastars" were asked to demonstrate their guitar playing ability and their skills (or lack of) were judged. Whoever got the highest score keeps the guitar.
Hey, wait a minute. What the FUCK is going on here? How does having excellent musical abilities make you a SOCCA STAR??? I don't recall Jimmy Page playing for Chelsea. Or anyone else, for that matter.

Answers on a postcard please. Please.


Good News, kinda.

It's not raining anymore. Which is good news. We can watch Astro again.

A few days back, Petronas signed a new deal to continue sponsoring the Formula One team previously known as Team Sauber Petronas but now called Team BMW-Sauber. That's a sweet deal, especially for the Petronas staff, since they'll get 50% off for the next 3 Series that they purchase!!! Fuck yeah! I'll get one of them M3s thanks.

The lads at home have a new craze lately. It's called Saidina.
Yes, dear readers, it's Saidina, our own local (and cheaper) version of Monopoly. It's where you buy Kuala Lumpur & Pulau Pinang (the 2 most expensive "tapak"s), spend a fortune to build up 4 houses, and no one ever lands on your property. Instead they land on the cheap ass hotels on Kangar & Batu Pahat. The game where you don't generate much income buying Sandakan or Teluk Anson, but you'll make a hell lot of money buying Shah Alam, even though they're located side by side. A game where people will still buy Tenaga Nasional & Jabatan Bekalan Air, even though both of them are pretty useless. A game where weird terms like "absahan" appears (on the Keputusan cards).

Saidina sessions usually start at around 8 and can end anywhere between 10 to 12. And that's on a workday. Weekend sessions are more hardcore, and can last until 2 to 3 am. Weird that this simple game is very addictive in its own way and dare I say it's far better than playing Winning Eleven on the Xbox. But that's probably because I'm so retarded playing Winning Eleven and always dibelasah every time.

And oh just so you know, the part about free BMWs is a lie. Please don't go bother your fiendly Petronas station worker and get them to buy you a car. They'll smack you in the head.


Good News for Good People

I'd like to congratulate ayie, one of the 5 people who actually read this blog; for successfully getting himself engaged. Not exactly sure when nor do I know anything more detailed than that, but well done (?) nonetheless.
You gots da hook on, need to reel it in, bradda. If ya know what I mean.


Pussy Problems No More.

I'm glad to say that the kittens are now alright. We put them in another shoe box and brought them to the petrol station (where we dumped their mother) last night.
And as soon as we put the shoe box down, we backed off a little to observe what'll happen.
The kittens started to meow, and suddenly out of nowhere, a large cat came rushing towards the source of the meows.
It was their mother.

Ahh, scenes like these just brings a tear to your eye, eh?
So no more pussy problems, this time for real. I'm glad we did this. My conscience would've killed me if we didn't.

P/S: I forgot to put AC/DC & Motorhead in my list below.


Pussy Problems

The day before yesterday, we had a bit of trouble at our house. Out of nowhere there was this black & white cat in our house. It was in the living room, kitchen, bedrooms, everywhere. I kicked him out and shut all doors, windows, even the slightest of openings. And we managed to keep him out for a while. But throughout the night we could still hear the meows and sounds of the cat scratching at the door.
This kept on happening the whole day yesterday. And it was bloody annoying. Imagine a cat meow-ing non stop the whole day, and would swiftly enter your house as soon as you open the door. I don't fancy cats, so to me this isn't cute at all
So last night I said to the lads,
Jom buang kucing ni. Bising je. Aku dah tak tahan dah ni.
Buang kat mana?
Buang je kat Petronas station tu.

And so we did. We put the cat in a shoe box, took it for a ride in the car and as soon as we reached the petrol station we dumped the poor thing near some bushes. And we fled the scene quickly, as you would when you throw cats away.

We were free of pussies!!!!
That night I slept well without the meows of a stray cat.

But as I woke up the following morning, I heard more meows. This time louder, even more annoying, and non-stop.
I had a look outside and saw three newborn kittens struggling to move around.

"Fuck! We threw away the mother!!!!"

And here's some pictures of them little buggers


I'm Hornby.

Once again, I’m heavily inspired by High Fidelity, possibly the best book I’ve ever read, for this post. I thought that it would be interesting to list down all the bands, artistes, freaks, poseurs, etc. that I’ve been listening to all these years, in CHRONOLOGICAL order. Or at least close to chronological order, since I’m not sure if I can remember the exact sequence of ALL my musical adventures. It would still be cool to see how I went from Nirvana to The Clash to The Stooges to Jeff Buckley. Of course, there’ll be some downright embarrassing bands in the list as well but hey, cut me some slack, ok? I was young, dumb and easily influenced back then.

So here it goes.

* Green Day – Dookie
* Nirvana – all of them i.e Nevermind, In Utero, Unplugged
* Weezer – Blue album
* Bush – Razorblade Suitcase & Sixteen Stones
* Tonic
* Smashing Pumpkins
* Pearl Jam
* Silverchair
* Subculture
* Butterfingers
* Rage Against the Machine
* Powderfinger
* Smashing Pumpkins (again)
* Metallica
* Blink 182
* New Found Glory
* Simple Plan
* Sum 41
* Unwritten Law
* Vandals
* Jimmy Eat World
* Dashboard Confessional
* Get Up Kids
* Coldplay
* Travis
* Sarah McLachlan
* The Shins
* Pedro the Lion ( I think that’s the name)
* Far
* Finch
* Dropkick Murphys
* Misfits
* Ramones
* Danzig
* Sex Pistols
* Snoop Dogg
* Fugazi
* White Stripes
* Placebo
* The Smiths
* The Cure
* Pixies
* Alkaline Trio
* Built to Spill
* The Stooges
* Johnny Thunders
* Cave In
* Burning Brides
* Iron Maiden
* Led Zeppelin
* Rush
* The Clash
* Black Flag
* Bad Brains
* Placebo (again)
* Slint
* Ween
* The Good Life
* Broken Social Scene
* Neutral Milk Hotel
* Galaxie 500
* Explosions in the Sky
* Interpol
* Joy Division
* Bright Eyes
* Seven Collar T-Shirt
* Jeff Buckley
* Elliott Smith
* Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
* Pavement
* Replacements
* Weezer (again)
* Missy Higgins
* White Stripes – Get Behind Me Satan

Yeah, so that’s about it. More or less. And according to this list, the last album that I listened to was White Stripes’ Get Behind Me Satan. That’s quite old. I don’t listen to any new stuff anymore. There are too many new bands to discover & I don’t have the time to listen to all of them and get disappointed (or pleasantly surprised?).


Go home and eat your cheese, Riise.

Nothing against Riise. It's just that he looks like someone who loves to eat cheese. That's why he's so strong and healthy and fast and can only kick a ball with his left foot. And with the reports of a possible takeover by Kraft, I think Riise would be totally wetting his pants already now, in joy of course. Pretty exciting times ahead eh, John? Yes, I know professional football players on a first name basis. Are you impressed?

Please say YES. That'll boost my ego. Thanks.

Oh now I know why I picked on Riise!! It bloody rhymes, ma. Well, it rhymes if you read it wrongly. Cheese and Riise. Riis. Cheese, Riis.

Now you must be wondering; "What the bloody hell has this guy been smoking lately?", right?

Answer : Nothing. I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I don't drink, I don't party. I'm fucking hardcore straight edge, buddy!! Remember straight edge? With X marks on both hands, I rock to Fugazi (is that sXe?), while I enjoy my freshly grown organic salad for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I eat leaves! How hardcore's that?

I'm really full of ideas right now, but I won't type anymore today. I've typed long enough. Now it's time for you good readers to holla back, yo!! I ain't sayin' she a gold digga. Fuck man, that song's stuck in my head.


Raya ketiga

It's the third day of raya and I'm already back at home in KL. It was a pretty short raya this year. Usually I'll only be back on the 5th or sometimes a whole week after raya but this year the extended celebrations have apparently been cut short. Which is puzzling since I took leave for rest of the week. Ah, whatever. I'm confused.

Anyways, raya was actually kinda fun. Probably the best time of the year to meet up with family members. Everyone's in a (relatively) happy joyful mood, except for the little brother & the 2 cousins who have to study for their exams. Also, having 5 small children running around the house all day long is enough to make it riuh rendah. And those little buggers are quite smart too. Somehow they managed to get me to fork out more than 100 bucks to buy them KFC on malam hari raya. And another 100 the next night to treat them Pizza Hut. Bloody hell. These guys are good.

Conclusion : Cute children melt your heart. Damn you, kids.


Selamat Hari Raya

Selamat Hari Raya & Maaf Zahir Batin to everyone. I'm taking a long break starting tomorrow. Invite me to your open house.

And by the way, what the hell is a tag???
I'm kinda dumb. Looks like some crap I used to get in Friendster.

But anyways, Ayie.. I'll take that as a compliment.


Hey hey it's Palace today

Well, well, well.
Comments are coming in ever so frequently nowadays. I probably need a better comment box than the standard issue one Blogger gives me. Which one's good?

Speaking of car stickers, I still say that Tuned by Razo is the most chav (or is it chavest?) of all.
Other notable mentions include:

New Zealand All Blacks; complete with the fern leaf and all.
West, placed across the top of the front windscreen
Blues Selamanya
Decals on the side, on a Proton Iswara.
Vodafone (?).
Type-R, Nismo, Ralliart on Kancils.
Hitz.fm car sticker (obviously a yuppie)
Transformers logo (it was cool for a while until everyone and their cousins had them)
Official Mafia's Car

Any more?


2-0 away is just too depressing

I contemplated buying a car sticker that says...

If you tailgate, I'll brake.

But then I realised that probably most of these "Tuned by Razo"-driving idiots wouldn't have a clue what tailgating is.
They'll read the sticker and go...

(Works best when read in a Kelantan accent)

Tailgate? Gapo dio tuh?
Ekor pagar? Dok pahe.
Bodo binate beruk babi nih.


Kewell's back!

Yes. Harry Kewell's back, folks. The answer to our prayers, the saviour, the ammunition supplier for beanpole Crouch!! Well, at least that's what Uncle Rafa thinks. The level of optimism is a bit too high and to expect so much of our injury-friendly Aussie mate is rather naive. 10 bucks says that Kewell would probably have an average game at best on his "comeback" game. You just don't pick up form right after a few months layoff.


Ok, I'm glad that my compulsary swearing is done with already.
Let's read a story now, eh?

I was somewhere in an industrial area near Bukit Kemuning (it's in the middle of nowhere-town) for the past week on a working assignment. I was there with an older colleague (he's twice my age & has a few children, I suppose) of mine to supervise a repair job. So one day we decided to take off early, since we got bored of watching dudes welding and grinding metals from early morning. Older guy (OG) wants to go home but I wanted to go to Sunway Pyramid. Problem is, I didn't know how to get the hell out of the place to go to Pyramid.

The OG then offered some help.
"Kau ikut aku balik rumah dulu, nanti sampai rumah aku suruh anak aku tunjuk jalan nak gi Pyramid."
I agreed. He lives in Shah Alam, so at least I'm on the right track already.

So we went to his house.
He invited me in, and I entered and sat in the living room.
OG disappears for a while. Probably went to tell his kid to "tunjuk jalan nak gi Pyramid" to me. And at this point I feel kinda silly. I need a kid to tell me how to get to Pyramid? Damn, kid must think I'm a loser.

Anyways, OG re-appeared in the living room and had some news for me.
"Kau bawak je la anak aku jalan jalan kat sana tu. Diorang tengah siap tu. The eldest and my 12 year old"
Fucking hell. Aku kena bawak anak mamat ni gi Pyramid? Ahh.. belasah je la.
Of course I said yes. I didn't want to be rude. Especially to an old man.

"Ok la."
So I waited in the car outside for these 2 kids to come out and join me to Pyramid.
And then when they finally show up, I was surprised..
Turns out that the OG's eldest is one hot 18 year old girl. I mean, really HOT. Next to her is the 12 year old kid brother.

The trip to and back from Sunway Pyramid was rather awkward.
There's silence. Then I ask "Kiri ke kanan?". The she answers "Kiri (or kanan)". Then silence again.
I didn't want to ask too much about her fearing a) she'd tell her father I was hitting on her or b) she'd think I'm a creepy old dude or c) the 12 year old brother would report that I was hitting on the sister or d) OG would probably kill me.

I ended up asking these instead.
"Kat roundabout ni masuk mana?"
"Lalu highway ke ni?"
"Kiri ke kanan?"


Hungry & TV

I'm bloody hungry. I watch TV all day. Even when there's nothing good on.
And that Lindsay Lohan chick's song - I wanna come first sounds way too dodgy to me.
She wants to come first?

yeah, baby.


Selamat Puasa

Selamat Puasa to everyone.
I'll be updating the blog probably right after sahur everyday (or on the days that I wake up in time).


It's Tuesday

xxxxx It's the weekend. Hanging out on the sofa, channel surfing with my (alleged) friend.xxxxx

Me: Nak tengok channel mana ni? Takde cerita menarik.

Alleged Friend (AF): Mana mana laa. Aku dulu kat UK memang suka tengok TV. Semua cerita best.

Me: Tengok ni la. Melayu ni. Bagus. (Switches to channel 4, Anugerah Era or some shit like that).

AF: Oii. Apa jadah kau tengok ni. Camni aa cerita Melayu. Bodoh nak mampos. (Continues swearing for another 2 minutes)

Me: (Ignoring the swearings, still watching the TV).

AF: Diorang ni, takde suara nak jadi penyanyi. Harap muka je cun. Arsehole. Baik kau tukar channel la. Bukak Channel V ke ape, aku rasa skarang ade Club V.

Me: Fuck you. Aku tukar channel lain. (Switch to Channel 11. Jamie Oliver).

AF: Kat UK memang senang nak dapat daging, sayur fresh. Tu yang Jamie Oliver masak nampak sedap tu. Orang UK memang pakai barang fresh. Lepas tu masak pasta, pizza. Aku dulu selalu masak pasta. Senang je. Kerja pun kat Pizza Hut. Memang diorang jaga kualiti makanan. Bukan cam kat Malaysia. Ntah ape ape. Kerja Pizza Hut, tapi tak tau procedure, camne nak treat customer. Pastu kalau makan gerai, taruk Ajinomoto banyak nak mampos. Tu yang aku tak suka makan kat gerai gerai kecik ni. Aku lagi prefer duduk kat UK, at least makanan sume memang takde taruk MSG ni.

Me: (Switch to TV1, Highlights TM Liga Perdana)

AF: Malaysia padang buruk nak mampos. Camne kau expect orang nak main bola bagus. Dah la player tak reti nak control bola. Main cam baru belajar. Kat UK budak sekolah pun lagi bagus dari player Malaysia. Pastu berlagak macam star. Padahal macam sial.

Silence for about 5 minutes.

AF: Takde cricket ke? Aku dulu selalu layan cricket. Dengan member member, lepak pub, layan cricket. Selalu gaduh ngan geng geng India pasal cricket. Aku memang boleh layan satu hari cricket ni. Aku selalu follow.

Me: So sape menang Ashes this year?

AF: (Looking totally confused and sounding like a complete retard)
Ashes tu ape?


Ad Campaigns That Won't Work

Castello(!!) endorsing Julie’s cookies. This cracks me up for a million different reasons.
We have a cookie company promoting their cookies by putting a notorious criminal’s face on their packaging wrappers. Really? What were the marketing dudes at Julie’s smoking? We might as well have Hitler selling Big Macs.


Tell me where this is from

Here's looking at you, kid.


Office Cliche #297

"You have to present it in terms of dollars and cents. That'll grab the management's attention."


Drama in the 80's (or maybe it's the 70's)

My friend and I were talking the other day about how Malay movies nowadays are crap in one way or another. It's either a cheesy Yusof Haslam movie (Sembilu I, II, III....), or some idiotic cartoonish "comedy" (Senario, Mami) or overhyped (Sepet) or corporate sponsored (anything that has a Hotlink ad).
Whatever happened to all the old school dramas? I think there was one period in the 80's or late 70's that these dramas would come by the truckloads. You know, all the Esok movies. There's Esok Masih Ada, Tiada Esok Bagimu, Menanti Hari Esok and a couple more. The main dude was always Jins Samsudin.
And damn, those movies were hardcore tearjerkers, man!
I recall one of these Esok movies where Jins Sams lost 2 children because of leukemia from his wife then he was forced to remarry another woman and gets another child and the child dies or something like that. Can't remember what happened next but one thing I know is that is was damn sedih (for some reason). Movies back then were simple but they definitely had some impact to the audience. Unlike the movies of today.
Too bad they don't make any Esok movies anymore.


It's 70 bucks now

If you care about oil prices, you'd probably know that it's about US $70 per barrel right now. That's pretty fucking expensive since the price was only around US $30 a little over a year ago.
Which means you'll have to pay more for petrol. And that sucks. But why do we always complain as if we're paying like a million times more than the old price although in reality it's more like a 10 - 20% hike. I guess we just like to complain rather than getting to know how the oil & gas industry works. It's a bit more complicated than just drilling for oil and then selling it.
Well anyways, Selamat Merdeka. If that means anything. I'm a bit irritated at the minister bloke who's annoyed that people aren't putting the flag on their cars. Fuck you. I'll put my flags wherever I want, thank you.
So it's yet another public holiday and to me that translates to another day of lepaking in front of the TV. I'll watch whatever's on. Even Malay dramas. The stories may not change since the 1900s but at least the chicks are getting nicer.


Aku Penghibur

I used to think that I'd get a BMW when I have the money. But now I'm not so sure. I'm heavily leaning towards Alfas now, for some unknown reason. Maybe its because it has more character and a hell lot sexier than any German made vehicle. Plus, I'd think an Alfa will pull more chicks than a BMW. I guess different cars have different appeals and express or invoke different emotions. Maybe I'll try and explain it through the use of football players.

An Alfa for example is like Paolo Di Canio or Jay Jay Okocha, full of flair and passion but does not quite reach the absolute top. And prone to be inconsistent once in a while. But surely breathtaking, stunningly sublime and capable of the spectacular. An Audi on the other hand seems like a Steven Gerrard or Gatusso kind of player. Full of drive, aggression and efficiency, with the odd deft touch. They're reliable and to an extent ruthless, not to mention single minded. A BMW is probably like Bergkamp/Sheringham or Tugay/Alonso. All classy, effortless, full of guile and quick thinking.


Rolls Royce RB211

Did you know that Rolls Royce don't really make cars anymore? Well, they don't make money making cars. But they bloody hell do make money making gas turbines!
I had the chance to have a closer look at not one; but two (!) Rolls Royce gas turbines last week. The RB 211 is hugely impressive, not to mention its enormous size. There's so many tubing that flows lube oil, fuel gas, air etc. I gave up tracing the each line early on when I got stuck at a point where they were too many tubes intersecting. I got lost there. I'm not sure how much power it produces but I think I overhead someone mention 30000. I may be wrong, but it does kinda make sense.
The other engine was the KB7, which is a smaller capacity engine compared to the RB211. The tubing/piping system isn't as complicated and where each tubes starts and ends its relatively easy to locate. They were doing detergent wash while I was there, so I stayed around to see they wash the thing. Its quite cool, really. And you can see how dirty the engine is when its being rinsed off.
The control system of both systems are quite elaborate, using heaps of controller cards and stuff like that which takes me forever to really understand.
Gas turbines are bloody cool, bro



Why is this called italic?

Do you know how to weld? I wish I can weld (properly). I've been hooked on Monster Garage lately cause its bloody addictive. It gives me the urge to weld some metal together, maybe cut some stuff up, bend tubes, tear down my car, put on air bag suspension, install a V-drive, shape some sheet metal, weld brackets, remove engines, burn things, drill holes, fabricate mountings, buy actuators, install actuators, build a chopper, paint some cars, install a rollcage & pimp my ride. And that's only Season 1, dawggg. Snoop Dogg. Before he joined boybands.



Where can I get some help around here?
Yes, sir. How can I help you.
Well. Firstly, fuck you for being bloody late attending me. And second of all, do you have that guy's new CD?
Which guy?
Ahh, the shaven head one. The girls like him. He's skinny. He's into drugs, I guess.
Jamal Abdillah? Yeah, that dudes cool with the ladies. And some guys too, bro. Been in and out of jail but still DA MAN!
Right on. But he's not the dude who's CD I'm looking for dude.
Why not?
Then? Who the hell you looking for?
CD, Asshole.
Well, we do have this new guy from that Malay show Akademi Fantasia.
Mawi? World yo yo yo, fuck yeah.
Yes that's what I was looking for. I like.
Wanker? No. That dude in the Celcom ad is a wanker.
Which bloke dude mate?
This bigass huge motherfucker. Shaven head. Wears nice looking designer shirt with the top button unbottoned.
Top button unbottoned. Sounds weird dude-bro.
You know the ad where he scrolls across the screen with that dumb retarded smile thinking he DA MAN!
Jamal is DA MAN! Not this wanker dude-bro, eh?
No-siree bob.
Yeah I know that bigass m/f. Fuck him.
Yeah fuck him.
No, I mean fuck him.
You go and fuck him.
In the arse.
Where's my CD?
In the arse. Make sure it's done, bro.


Updates of sorts

So here's some more info on Nik's wedding. Read the special message below.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t

Kawan-kawan yang dirindui sekalian,

Insya Allah pada 20 Ogos 2005 ini saya, Nik
Syahrim bin Nik Anwar akan diijabkabulkan dengan
Nur Shahida binti Tajudin. Majlis akan berlangsung
di Kulim, Kedah (Sabtu, 20.08) dan di Kota Bharu
(Sabtu, 27.08).
Dengan sukacita dan hormatnya saya menjemput
kawan-kawan sekalian ke majlis ini.
Sila berikan alamat anda ataupun emel supaya kad
jemputan boleh disampaikan.
Semoga dengan kehadiran anda semua akan
mengembalikan kenangan manis kita di kolej dulu,
disamping mengeratkan lagi persaudaraan kita.

Sehingga bertemu di sana;

Yang benar;
Nik Syahrim bin Nik Anwar
Ahmad House 9498
University of Applied Science Heilbronn
email: niksyahrim@hotmail.com
Tel: +49179 792 4555 (Deutschland)
: 013-9008304 (Malaysia, hanya selepas 27.July 05!)

Ok that's done.

Whatever you plan to do this weekend, just don't go and watch Seven Swords. It's really really fucking stupid. And its nearly 2 1/2 hours long. That's bloody long for a stupid movie. But if you insist, for whatever reason I'll give you a bit of a summary of the good bits. And there's not a lot of them.

This movie has a lot of horny old school Ming Dynasty Kung Fu practising farmers. This one dude just can't keep his dick in his pants and tries to screw around with his girlfriend inside the bangsal. Girl says "Me no love you". Bloke gets all emo and starts becoming mentally unstable. Do we really need this scene in the movie? I bet it was put as filler material to make it longer.

There's another horny bloke who looks the same as the first horny bloke who; after a hard fought battle, takes home a Korean girl back to his place (as a souvenir, I guess). After some pretty freaky and quite strange foreplay, they finally get it on in a cave. But we don't get to see the "getting on" but after the rape style foreplays I think it was for the good of everyone that they cut that scene off. The movie is long enough already.

But its not all sex in this movie. There's sword fighting scenes as well. After all, it is (supposedly) based on a legendary Chinese warrior tale of some sort. So we get fight scenes, where the 7 swordsmen can kill off a million bad guys. Yes, they're that good. But the movie drags on and on and gets longer because these blokes need a bit of time to beat the hell out of 1,000,000 pathetic low rank guards. At the end of the day, we get a lot of dead Chinese people lying around.

In between the horniness and fights, theres a few parts that I really didn't get. I really could not make sense of any of these scenes. It seems like they were random ideas put in by the make-up person or tealady or whoever the fuck wants to put it in. There's a scene where they released some horses but then this one horse came running back, refusing the freedom given to it? There's another scene where they found a super special sword but we get to see a glimpse of it and that was the end of that story. All the good guys look the same and it gets bloody confusing to identify which one is which. And, oh did I mention that the movie is really long?

So in summary, this movie is perfect if you want to see some Chinese farmers living on the mountains, cause they look great. And goats too. They keep a lot of goats on the mountains.


Wedding bells or in this case, kompangs.

Two more of my buddies are getting married soon. Don't have the exact details but will post it later. Anyways, congratulations to Nik Syahrim, Asmadib and a special belated ....congrats/good luck dude to Nawal Ghazali.
God bless you all. And remember, premature is for losers. So try to hold it a bit longer.



The posts are becoming rather sporadic lately, eh?
Well.... sporadic schmoradic. It's my bloody blog. Ehhhh.

The theme this time is sports,eh.
So to recap whats been happening lately. Gerrard finally made up his mind and stays at Anfield, resisting the temptations of some Russian money and the bright lights of London.
The British & Irish Lions were pathetic in their tour of New Zealand. 0 for 3 as the Yanks would say.
BMW has bought over Sauber racing and this'll lead to a sudden increase in Sauber supporters come next year's race in Sepang.
There's nothing decent to watch on TV. What you get is extensive coverage of the World Pool Championship in Taiwan. Wow. Like, fun eh? Right. Come to think of it, any sport that involves hitting a ball with a stick is kinda retarded and boring as hell.
That's all I know about sports.

I'd say something about some good bands to listen to, but I haven't been music-ing much lately. I need my fucking groove back, baby.



A whole lot of them.
I reckon I had nearly 10 durians this evening. Of course, I didn't enjoy the fragrant smell and sweet, lovely, lemak-y taste of the durian alone. I had a few mates around.
We started the feast near Maghrib time, after work & after my now-compulsory 5 minute jog. Haha. 5 minute jog? That's as useless as a 5 minute futsal session.
But anyways, we had about 7 bijik durian by Maghrib. I was full but had to force a few more in just to not "membazir". Most of the durians were super sweet and perfect. Or as I'd like to put it, "sedap gila babi". We started off like some hungry durian crazy bastards, opening them by the minute. Then after the 4th one, everyone slowed down but still didn't want to stop. We were obviously getting full but yet were not willing to take it easy on the durians.
"Try satu lagi.."
And so we did. In fact we had 3 more.
I felt sleepy afterwards and had a nap. When I woke up, they wer just starting another durian session. Whoa.. I woke up at the right time, lucky. I had a few more.
And then came the pening. Seriously its so bad that I couldn't open my eyes. I'm even feeling a little bit migraine-ish typing this post. I want to go to bed.


I'm back!

Yeah, I'm back blogging. I had a little hiatus a while ago due to several reasons (more like excuses) including work commitments, lack of interest, laziness & unavailability of Internet access. But hey, I don't need to justify why I don't blog!
Pejam celik, its already halfway through the year. And I've been working for a bit more than one year now. I can't exactly say how much experience I've gained over the past 12 months but I'd like to think that I've learned bits and pieces of a lot of things. I better. I've always been a rather slow starter-late blossomer (if thats a word) and that's why only now, after one year I'm beginning to grasp and "get it". The first 12 months were like a blurry period for me. Struggling here and there trying to learn about everything. But now I'm more focused and I know what I'm doing. Which gives me a great deal of relief and a feeling of content. And that's good. No more being unsure of what to do, no more taking up unrealistically and "waste of time" tasks and shit like that anymore. I'll leave that to the next new guy coming in.
One thing I've learned is that you have to work smart in this type of office environment. By that I mean doing stuff that's worth it. Sure it sounds bloody obvious but you'd be surprised to see how many people get stuck doing the unnecessary stuff while ignoring what's really essential.
Okay, I'm beginning to sound very serious now. I think I better stop before this becomes a boring lecture on how to work smart.
What do I know? I'm just a new kid in this huge business. You'd be better off reading Dilbert (which by the way is only a click away from here.....see the column on your right? Yes? Click, click, click)



Am I still bitching about emo? God, that's soooo 2003. I better keep myself updated and whine about the "indie revival" quick.
It's been a week since the great comeback and I'm still buzzing. I bet those "neutrals" would start buying the new jersey soon and then claim to have "followed" the Reds through the not-so-bright times. Fickle fukkers.
Work is extremely stressful still and I have the paranoid feeling of being screwed, big time.
Haven't watched the new Star Wars movie and proud of it.
Looking forward to the Initial D movie though.
Long weekend coming up but undecided on what to do.


3 in 6 minutes, baby!

The greatest match I've ever seen. We're were down and out by half time I thought, but those six crazy minutes, sparked off by Gerrard's header turned the game completely. Dudek's double save in extra time saved the game and from that moment on I knew we were destined to win. Luck? Hell no. It's fate.

European Cup count:
Liverpool : 5
Man Utd : 2
Arsenal : 0
Chelsea: 0

Eat that, wankers


How do you do doodle-doodle

You come to the office one fine Monday morning only to discover that you've been FUCKED in the ass big time. Of course not literally, although if your "office" happens to be a jail cell, then I guess you'd have to expect it.
... being fucked (metaphorically speaking) isn't a good thing.
But, someone has to get fucked. Unfortunately it's me.
So here I am, waiting for this imaginary dick to get out of my ass. That's another metaphor, kids.


My Weekend Tragedy

It's the weekend and I find myself browsing through my friends' Friendster profiles. It's depressing. Other people seem to have better lives. Gets all the girls. Have all the money.

My Weekend Tragedy
What a perfectly typical name for an emo band. Excellent. Wanna join? We'll play 3-4 chords repeatedly and produce something that could barely pass as a "riff" and then sing about how our Friendster profiles make us depressed. And we'll sing about the Friendster girl who didn't reply our message and broke our hearts. And we'll wear makeup and eyeliner and wear red ties and scream and do so many other punk stuff.
And then we'll "experiment" and try to become Duran Duran.


Return of the Smiths

Or Attack of the Jedis or whatever the hell the next Star Wars movie is.
Is it just me or is there anyone else who totally don't care about this. I don't need to see it on Opening day. Or Opening Week even. But somehow, being somewhat the popular culture conformist that I am, I'm probably going to see the movie sooner or later. Damn you, peer pressure.
One thing's for sure, I won't be the super-fan boy freak figurine collector loser, definitely (If I do, please shoot me...Thanks). Nor will I ever discuss/argue about Star Wars with anyone. Or read articles off the 'Net about "How Star Wars Changed the World". Not that there's anything wrong with that. It's just not my scene.
To me, it's just one of those things that you have to do; watch new Star Wars movie--check. Now move on to next on list. It's more of "let's get this out of the way" rather than "Whoaa... wanna check out how good dude turns to Black Metal Face?". It's like a Radiohead phase, you just have to have one but you don't necessarily have to agree that OK Computer is the best album ever. Get it?
So it'll be a couple more weeks before I get to know how the saga ends. Not really the end but you know what I mean right?


You'll Never Walk Alone

This may one full week late but I'll mention it nonetheless. We're in the bloody finals!
The only real high in a season full of lows. I just couldn't be bothered already where Liverpool finish in the league this season. Being fucked completely in the first half against Arsenal sums up how frustratingly inconsistent we are/were this season. Disappointing would be a huge understatement.

But who cares. We're in the bloody finals!
FA Cup? Premier League trophy? Who needs that?
We're in the bloody finals!


Why aa... don't believe aa?

We were at Zamir's wedding reception yesterday when suddenly Shaw asked a rather interesting question.
"Bila kau kahwin nanti, kau nak main lagu ape?"
To which I replied.
"Ntah la, nanti aku google. Nak search lagu yang best."
It was a pretty cool reply, I thought. At that time of course. Now it just seems a bit dumb. And so, another intriguing enquiry is left unanswered.

So what do you want played on your wedding?

I went back and actually gave some thought on this.
And I've decided that I want Fell in Love with a Girl by the White Stripes being played when I get married.


This is Anfield.

My post about High Fidelity had actually inspired a great article about lad lit vs. chick lit by my knowledgable friend zaha.
Go read it!
I actually don't care much if its a chicky story or a bloke's tale or anything, as long as its good and funny. And anything that has the words "fucking" & "wanker" in the same sentence is hilarious by default.
And did you ever notice that all my headings don't actually relate to my posts? How retarded is that?


High Fidelity

The site's OK I guess. Except for the links. I should've put links to people I know. But I couldn't be bothered. Not now. Too much effort needed.
It's quite good to see comments from people. That's nice. I don't have a counter or anything to monitor how popular (or not) this site is with masses, but a few comments here and there is enough to show that there are people reading this.

I've been reading Nick Hornby's High Fidelity for a while now. Yeah, I know it's been around for what, 10 years(?) already but I just got the urge to actually read it last week. I've seen the movie a couple of times but.
It feels kinda weird reading a book after you've seen the movie. You just can't escape picturing the movie scenes throughout the whole read. I kept picturing the main character as John Cusack, and the annoying record shop assistant as Jack Black. I feel like I'm cheating somewhat, by not using my own imagination to picture or create images of these characters. I'm just using some other guy's interpretation of the story to help ME enjoy the story. For all I know, Hornby's character may not even look anything like Cusack or Black. And they'd speak with an English accent, unlike the movie characters. Rob's (main character) flat would probably look different, the record store would probably be different, they'd probably hang out at a pub rather than a bar, blah blah blah (you get the point).
I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy the book. I did. In fact, I thought it was brilliant. Great bloke literature (as opposed to chick-lit). It's just that it might've been better if I didn't try to link both the movie and book together. Maybe I'll do that the second time around.


Just to tell youse.

Did you know that HELL is a bad place to visit? I just wanted to remind you guys that.
So, whatever you do... just don't go to hell.


Selamat Pengantin Baru!

Congratulations to my ex-schoolmate and part time skate buddy, Raqib. Raqib is getting married this weekend but I can't make it to the ceremony. I have to work. I can't take any more days off since I've been out of the office for the whole week, and just can't afford to appear even more incompetent in front of my boss.

And to celebrate this wonderful occasion (for him), I'm dedicating this Toy Machine picture since Raqib used to aspire to be a famous and artsy skater-boy, just like Ed Templeton.

The KKK took my baby away

If there's one thing thats annoying me today its this: Malays speaking with an American accent. For some reason, I find this particular thing very annoying but I can't really pin point what exactly is annoying me, is it the Malay bit or the American accent bit.
I'm leaning towards the American part. Would it annoy me as much if some Malay dude spoke in an English accent, or Australian, French, African or Malay accent? I don't think so.
But it would annoy me if some Asian looking dude spoke with an American accent, for sure.



Finally, I got caught stealing the header/banner/whatever-its-called. Sorry, ayie. But the design fits perfectly with the whole theme I'm working on here. No, really.

I'm in Miri right now, for work. Or so that's what my boss/office colleagues think. Well, you could say it is work in a way except that it's more like a talk talk talk with no action type of thing. Which suits me well. Anyways I'm supposed to buy some ikan masin terubuk for my mum, and where the hell I'm going to find that? Ikan masin terubuk? Ape tu? And I have to carry the thing around in the airport nanti. That could potentially be a) embarassing and b) illegal. Worse if its both.

I spent the past 4 days prior to this trip listening to the Ramones - Anthology. And I think they fucking rule. In fact, they're the rulest band ever and can completely kick the whole ass out of anyone. Even those blood drinking goat fucking Norwegian black metal bands. And goats don't make a good shag. I think.


In the Semis

I'm stoked. Liverpool are in the Champions League semifinal, going through after drawing with Juve away. I was quite nervous throught the match though but thankfully a very limp performance by Juve helped the Reds through.


Picking Up 101

Based on an experience at a record store

Hot chick at a listening station. She's checking out Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds' B-Sides and Rarities (Trust me, it doesn't get any cooler than this, son). Now you know that she has excellent musical taste. You strategically stand at the CD rack opposite her. You then start prentending to browse the CDs. As she's about to take off the headphones, you somehow manage to make eye contact.

What's your line, brother


Not today

Today's the day when everything is not right. The day when you feel lonely and depressed, and the more things you do to get over it, the more hopeless you feel.


Tough blokes

Fuck off, bloody wankers.


A Fresh Start

So now I need a blog. Just like the cool kids. But it's not that cool anymore, since everyone and their grandmas all have one of these "digital journals" already.
Anyways, I nicked the header graphic off my friend's blog 'cause it looked pretty neat.