Pick Me Up

Flirting with chicks through Friendster is as near-impossible as getting a straight answer from Samy Vellu. Well, impossible for me at least. Ha ha.
They probably think I'm a creepy bastard that sends random messages all over. And my "testimonials" don't help either; most of them say that I am in fact I AM (allegedly) a creepy bastard. Which is not true. I'm a decent human being. Really.
But then again it was me that approved those testimonials in the first place, so it's my fault.
Ahh well, what to do?


Some Japanese Game

Lately I've been filling my time in my cubicle doing Sudoku. It's way better than staring into blank space. And you know what, Sudoku is not THAT easy!
I find myself struggling to fill up the numbers vertically & horizontally. Most of the time I use the crude method of trial and error or "main belasah cuba nasib" which usually works like this: Fill random numbers in random box followed by immediately erasing said number upon realising that it wouldn't work after I've filled up another box with yet another seemingly random number (..phew).
You can see a LOT of eraser marks on my Sudoku worksheet. Worse if it's on a newspaper. Kadang kadang sampai koyak.
There must be a better method than this. Filling up 9 horizontal & vertical lines randomly is hard, not to mention how much of a headache it is.
It was only today I realised that there's another little "rule" that I've missed.
Apparently, you have to fill the digits 1 to 9 in the nine 3 by 3 boxes as well.


Well... this certainly simplify things a bit.


Remember my Alleged Friend (AF), Mr. Know-it-All walking encyclopaedia, doesn’t know what is the Ashes despite “borak-borak pasal kriket kat pub ngan bebudak India”? Well, he’s back annoying the fuck out of me once more.

We were watching TV (it’s always in front of the TV, innit?) World Cup match: Togo v France.
4 people in the living room. Me, Friend 1(F1), Friend 2 (F2) & Alleged Friend (AF).

Match already started and its somewhere in the middle of the first half.
AF is sitting on the sofa with a laptop. He’s watching football while surfing the Net.

F1 : Adoi, France main macam sial. Boring gile game.

F2 : Come on la Togo. Useless betul France. Banyak player tua.

Me : France pakai player sama since World Cup ’98.

F1 : A’ah la.. sume dah tua dah. Zidane, Vieira, Henry, Thuram.

AF : Henry mana ade masa ’98. Aku tengok dulu, aku ingat.. Henry ni baru lagi.

Me : Oi Henry ada la masa ’98. Check kat Internet tu.

AF : (Degil)
Eh ade ke? Aku sure takde la. Belum masuk Arsenal pun lagi masa tu.
F1 : Lantak kau la.

F2 : (Ignoring the ongoing debate).. Come on Togo!!

AF : Go TOGO!!! Korang ni apsal sokong France? Togo la bagus. Player laju, power. Aku mmg dari dulu lagi support Togo.

F1 : Oh ye ke? Kalau camtu, ibu Negara Togo ape?

Me : Togo cakap bahasa ape?

F2 : Coach Togo ape nama?

Me : Togo kat mana?

AF : (in a dismissive tone) Ishhh….

Me : Oi check la kat Internet, kata support Togo. Ni asyik tengok porn je.

AF : (kinda pissed) Fuck you!

Me, F1 & F2 just laughed.


Interesting Stories

Have you heard tales about how certain words came about?
I'm sure you have come across these very interesting stories.

Posh is actually acronym for Port Out Starboard Home (there's a long story behind this, involving voyages across continents!!)
Golf - Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden

Fuck - Fornication Under the Consent of the King

You know, stuff like that...

But hey guess what? They're all LIES!!
Although the stories sound legit, AND they do kinda make sense too, apparently all of these "origin of words" stories are completely FALSE.
Which makes me wonder.... who initially had this great idea to make up these stories, and how did it spread so far??


World Cup so far

I'm mightily impressed by two players in the World Cup so far. I think Riquelme and Van Persie are excellent players. Riquelme has proven that he is definitely the classiest and best player in the Argentinian team, head and shoulders above the rest, a certain Mr Messi included. He makes everything look easy, sprays the ball all over the field, has an eye for the killer pass, has excellent control and movement. Truly an elegant player.
On the other hand, I am quite surprised that van Persie is impressing me. Robben may be getting the headlines, but van Persie is the type of player that I admire. He's another classy player that relies more on quick thinking and excellent vision to play the game, rather than utilising pace to terrorise opponents. There's never a touch too many, everything is measured and delivered just right. Too bad he plays for Arsenal.
Looking forward to find some more gem players in the upcoming matches.
Enjoy your football everyone.


Singapore is a foreign country

If you like shopping and you have loads of money (lucky bastard!) then you should go to bloody SINGAPORE!
I was there last week for three days, all paid for by my kind employers who thought I was going there to work. At least that's what I told them. Technically, there was a bit of work being done, but that only took 1/2 a day. The rest of the time were spent on non-work activities, obviously.

Apparently right now Singapore is having their annual Great Singapore Sale, much like our own Karnival Beli Belah or something like that. But they have more stuff that I'd actually want to buy over there. I ended up RM 800 poorer by the end of my trip. I spent eight fucking hundred bucks in 3 days! And most of them are on clothes! I'm becoming a girl.

And they have HMV over there. It's been a long long while since I've been in one and when I stepped into the store, it felt really good. Comforting, even. Ok well HMV may not have all the CDs that I want, but they're not too bad. They have the decent stuff, if you look hard. Plus, I just couldn't tahan to see CDs priced at 19.99 and some at 15.99. Rasa cam nak beli semua!!

Before you start being a smart arse and say "Ala, kalau convert sama la harga dgn kat sini", I already know that. But psychologically the numbers 19.99 is much much lower than 49.90 and for that reason I bought 3 CDs. It seemed cheap. In terms of value, maybe I would save a bit more cash if I bought the CDs over here. Then again, maybe I couldn't find these CDs here. So you see, it's a complicated situation.

I wouldn't tell what CDs I bought cause it's a bit embarassing. Haha.

Conclusion: If you want to buy stuff (nice stuff some more, ah) go to Singapore. And bring lots of cash.


World Cup!

The World Cup has started.
Now, everyone knows that the World Cup is held every four years, yes?
Well, then geniuses, answer me this:

There was a World Cup when I was in Form 1 and the next World Cup was held when I was in Form 5. But hey, wait a minute... isn't that 5 years apart??

It's probably a straight forward answer, but apparently its been bugging me all day long.
Plus, its a good trick question to fool young children. Ahh, the confused look on those kids faces gives me such joy. Evil.



I had the weekend plus a few more days to think about this. But in reality, I came up with this within an hour on Monday, my mind fuelled up with damn Vanilla Coke ( I hated it earlier, but then it grew on me). Plus, I'm a busy bloke on weekends so I wouldn't have much time anyways.

Ok, in my opinion and gut feeling, these are some top wankers in Malaysia.

Samser Sidhu
As Farock rightly predicted, I have in fact managed to "fit Samser Sidhu somewhere in there", yeah right smack on top, head of the class, mate! The bald headed guy from the Celcom ad and host of the God-awful TV show Fear Factor Malaysia is well and truly a wanker extraordinaire. Homeboy tries so so hard to look cool and has too much "gaya macam pukimak".

Khairy "KJ" Jamaludin
The man behind MyTeam. For someone who doesn't have a real job, he sure does appear on TV (and papers) way too much. Tosser. I can see right through his fake ass smile.

Jien (Football Crazy)
Maybe it's the HongKee hairstyle, maybe its the annoying high pitched voice, maybe its the pink shirts, I dunno. This is a dude that looks like he know's absolute nothing about football and yet we still have to endure his constant yapping about "EPL" week in and week out. He think he's cool. I think he's a poof.

Fazley penyanyi (and doktor & pengasas kolej)
For someone who's apparently well educated, it's amazing how he still is a wanker. He has a PhD and has his college for God's sake. Anyway, I always question people's motives when they set up these "celebrity college or anything charity-like". They always sound a bit dodgy. You can see this douche bag giving advice and motivasi for those poor Akademi Fantasia kids every week on Astro.

Poor 'ol Shebby. I was actually 50-50 on this one. I think everyone is familiar with our own "football pundit" here. And you should also be familiar with his wanker-ness. I don't need to proceed any further.

And that's all. Sure, there are a million more: Aznil Nawawi, Azwan Ali, Hazami, AC Mizal bla bla bla. But these guys at least aren't acting as if they're the hottest shit ever. Unlike the blokes above. So I've cut some slack, I guess.
And have you noticed that they're no female wankers? Is the term wanker limited to males? If yes, whats the female equivalent? Or is it really the case that there aren't any female "wankers"? Hmm... a question to ponder.

P/s: Where can I find the Seinfeld Theme mp3?



If you were to list down the top 5 wankers in Malaysia, who would they be?
I have a few in mind, but really I want to have a bit more time to think this over.
In the mean time, do your own thinking. Let's compare wankers later!

P/s: I've bought a spanking new Motorola SLVR mobile phone. It's not so user-friendly, but dammit, it's cool as hell.
I've got Missy Higgin's Scar as the ringtone and an Interpol song (don't know the title but it goes like this... Rosemary, bla bla) as well. What are other nice tunes for ringtones?

I Swear

I think I swear too much. Just count how many times the word "fuck" appears in my posts.