New Year

It's New Year's eve, and as usual...... I don't have any plans. I'll probably just sit at home with my wife, watching Cicak-Man, Room Raiders or some other equally loser show on TV. Why bother going out? It's going to rain anyways.
And I really don't feel like squeezing through a crowd of sweaty Mat Rempits and noisy Ching Chong Chengs in the middle of Bukit Bintang

Moving on, my New Year's resolution are as follows:

1. Be a loving husband and good bloke
   
2. Spend less and save more
3. Learn to play the guitar (3 years in a row and I still SUCK!)
4. Not celebrate a 5-1 win over Newcastle in a Southport club and get arrested for bashing up the club's DJ
5. Boycott Yasmin Ahmad's bullshit films
6. Read more
   
7. Be a YES man, YES man, YES man
8. Poke friends on Facebook and play Elven Blood (or whatever it's called)
9. Continue my Legends of CM post part 2,3,4,5,6 & 7.
10. Learn to iron properly

Snippets

Poor Rafa. He's having a surgery and will miss the Arsenal game. Sammy Lee is in charge and I'm sure he'll do the right thing (that's playing our 20 million striker instead of Benayoun or Kuyt). Little Sam could do a Phil Thompson.

My favourite injury-prone player (apart from Liverpool "legend" - Harry Kewell); Darren "Sicknote" Anderton finally hung his boots a few weeks ago. Spurs are my 2nd team, and Anderton was one player who always caught the eye, whenever he was fit enough to play, that is. Part of a semi-successful Euro 96 squad, Anderton always looked classy on the ball - the total opposite of Dirk Kuyt.

I disagree with Perak's & Penang's plan to buy new Camrys to replace their current fleet of Perdana. The Perdana may be crap compared to the Camry, but where's the national pride bros? They should be loyal and stick with Proton, even if it means that they have to "suffer" a bit. I'd respect that. They can still bash Proton in the papers of course, but choosing foreign make or local ones just sends a message of disloyalty. Sure, one can argue about quality, or getting the best out of your money but I can only accept that reasoning if it was a personal purchase.

You go and help build bridges, get people out of their homes safely, retrieve documents and provide shelter - but what do you get in return? Accusations of stealing people's shit, being lazy & just "eating, menghabiskan beras" and being unhelpful slackers. That's grossly unfair. Why do you even bother helping out? People should be more thankful in these difficult times.

And lastly..... hats off to the Iraqi dude who threw a big ass shoe to Bush. He's got some balls.

The evolution of a bloke's mantra

In the beginning,
"Bros before hos"

then,
"Hos before bros"

back to,
"Bros before hos"

and finally,
"Wife before bros before hos"

Well actually, there shouldn't be "before hos" on the last one, unless you're looking for trouble.

Mash-Ups

Todek, the Young Leader
Embraces change, strives for excellence, "together we make it happen!", influences peers, thinks "global"

Todek, the smart-arse cynic
Mocks management, questions reasons for "initiatives", avoids participation, hates the word "inculcate"

Here, I present to you.....

Todek, the Young Leader vs Todek, the smart-arse cynic

Round 1
(At a meeting)
Leader :
During this difficult times and troubled economy, we need to be twice as smart to survive!
Cynic :
Great. I look forward to spontaneously develop an IQ of 400!

Badabing-bing-bang!!!
1-0 to Cynic


Round 2
(During an "engagement session")
Leader:
As I had my nasi lemak this morning, I pondered on something.
(Leader then shows a Power Point slide of nasi lemak ikan bilis telur goreng)
Sure, the chicken contributed. But the ikan bilis committed!
(Damn, I'm smart)
Cynic:
So, we're the ikan bilis who should die so that you can have a nice breakfast?

Badabing-bang-boom!
2-0 to Cynic.

BOOYAH!

Inspired by (and plagiarised) Dilbert.

Japan Pt 2

In Japan, there's this Italian food chain called Saizeriya which caters to young "Western" Japanese kids and also to loser non-sushi-eating Asians like myself. Imagine Laksa Shack, but with Italian food. The existence of a Saizeriya outlet in each city that my wife & I visited was a great relief to me as it gave me an alternative to the usual raw Japanese stuff, most of which I cannot stomach.

Anyhow, one of the more interesting conversations I've heard (or in this case, overheard) occurred in a Saizeriya in Hiroshima. It was mix Japanese-English dialog between a Swedish bloke and a Japanese girl. They were talking loudly at the table behind me, so I couldn't help but eavesdrop.

Swede :
So yeah, nice to finally meet up.

Girl :
Hai, hai. Yes. Nice to meet you.

Swede & Girl continue talking , bla bla bla for a few minutes.


Swede :
Have you ever kissed a girl?

Girl :
Hmmm....... Well, I've never told anyone about this, but actually, I once had sex with a girl.

Swede :
(Trying ever so hard to keep his cool)
Oh, really? How did that happen?

Girl :
Oh... it happened a long time ago. I had just finished college. We were drunk at the time, she was someone I knew from school. Oh my God, I'm so embarassed telling you all this. I've never told this to anyone.

Swede :
Don't be embarassed. I think it's good to experiment.

Girl :
Really?

Swede :
Yeah. Sex is good. Sex is supposed to be fun. If it's not fun then what's the point? But what's fun for you may be different for me. And, how would you know whether it's fun if you don't experiment?

Girl :
(Laughs shyly)
Hmm... I guess you're right.

Swede :
I like to experiment. Try new things, new experience... you know? I think you should too.





And then I thought, "Yeah... Swede's gonna get lucky tonight!"

Football

Watching the Malaysian football team play is painful, kinda like watching Liverpool - but much, much worse. It's like self-inflicting mental torment on yourself. But surpisingly, I keep coming back for more. I don't know whether that's loyalty or I just like torturing myself.

This somehow brought me to think about the legendary football game that is Championship Manager.

Championship Manager, or more affectionately known as CM to fans of this ridiculously addictive game took a lot of my youth, especially during Uni. And I'm sure many other football fanatic would second this.

There were countless times when CM and study clashed.... and CM would always win. I can't recall how many times I chose CM over a boring afternoon lecture, (It would always start like this: I'll decide to be 10 minutes late to the lecture to play another match but eventually ended up skipping the whole lecture altogether). I remember one time when I sat through a class planning my team's off-season transfer dealings & budget, completely ignoring my Week 7 Mechanics lecture. Or the time when I scribbled my latest genius 4-1-3-1-1 formation (complete with individual player runs) instead of taking notes during my tutorial. Damn, those were happy days indeed.

So, in the spirit of reminiscing about CM, I'd like to share some of the legendary & almost mythical names I've encountered throughout my CM career. Note that I'm only referring to CM3 and its subsequent updates (i.e. 97/98, 99/00, etc) - basically before it became crap (i.e. CM4 or Football Manager onwards).

Cherno Samba
An absolutely unbelievable young striker - can be bought on the cheap from Millwall. Starts the game at age 15 if I recall correctly, Samba is the one player everyone should have on their team. He once scored a hattrick within 15 minutes and single-handedly won a FA Cup final for me. Good in the air and very pacy (definitely >18 points in the Heading & Pace stats) this guy can easily score 30+ goals a season. I remember when all my housemates were playing CM at the same time with each having the prolific Samba on our respective teams; shouts of "SAMBAAAAAA!!!!!" would be heard every other minute, hailing yet another heroic effort by our boy Cherno; such as scoring the last minute European Cup winner against AC Milan or blasting 5 goals past sorry Luton Town.

Outside the digital world however, few have heard of Samba's achievement. I remember reading that Liverpool at one point were interested, but that then died off. However, his non-existent real-world success notwithstanding, in my opinion Samba is still a legend. Good job, son.

Japan

As the Customs officer began to unzip my travel bag, I immediately began to regret not paying attention during Japanese class back in school. I didn't understand a single word the bloke said and had no idea what to say to him.

So there I was, standing silently in front of a Japanese Customs officer dressed in a frivolous lime green uniform (complete with matching hat!); unable to explain my rather "dodgy" travelling status - alone, no permanent residence address & apparently on "holiday". It didn't help either that I had BIN typed in huge capital letters on my passport, which gave the lime green chap all the more reason to be suspicious. Fuck.

The Customs guy then went through my belongings, seeming intent on finding something that will result in me spending my first night in Japan behind bars. But luckily, I didn't bring anything dangerous; thank God I left them Chinese melamine biscuits behind.

The whole ordeal lasted a good 10 minutes and I was borderline late to catch my train to Tokyo....... but fortunately I wasn't THAT late, so I got on the train just in time.

Hah. Drama.

To be continued.....

Manhood Fail

Visit failblog.org for more of this.
Only if you enjoy stupid butt-jokes.

Driving a slow car

I'm used to getting flashed at........by a fast moving car. (What did you think I meant? Perverts). I drive at 120 km/h on the outside lane on highways and getting flashed at by speeding BMWs, Perdanas & even Tuned-by-Razo Kancils is something that I'm accustomed to. It's something that I expect even.

And I don't mind. I realise my 3-speed Wira SE can't be pushed beyond 120 km/h, for I fear the terrifying noise that developed at 4500 rpm would turn catastrophic beyond 5000. So I let them pass. Even the Kancils, begrudgingly.

What pisses me off is when Singaporean cars flash the fuck out of me. I just can't take being harassed and tailgated by a foreign assclown in my own country. That's humiliating. And disrespectful.

It's like allowing a salesman into your house, let him show you his product catalog and suddenly then he takes over your Astro remote and switches the channel to Wah Lai Toi.

When flashed by Singaporean cars, I try my best to ignore them. I bravely push my Wira beyond the pathetic speed of 120 km/h, looking ridiculous trying to fend off a 180 km/h Camry. I laugh sinisterly as my eyes start to blind from the flicker of lights behind me.

Yeah. Take that, bitch.

Ah, pening kepala.....

All New!

After nearly 3 years of running this blog, I've decided that a new, fresh makeover is needed. Thus, the all-new, clean, minimalist, professional-looking, zero-clutter layout. The less bullshit waste-of-space items, the better.

I'm inspired to write once again after spending three whole days reading other people's blog. I was particularly impressed with one of my friend's friend's blog which was funny, ironic, cynical AND well written. But I won't link it here - that would look gay; I barely know the dude!

It's like admiring James Bond; you don't want to have posters of Daniel Craig all over your bedroom wall, but damn it, you sure wish you had a 5000 dollar suit.

I want an expensive suit.

Trolleys

During our student days in Sydney, my housemates and I used to do embarrassing things.

One of them is bringing home supermarket trolleys.
We'd go to our local Coles on Friday or Saturday nights, load up a week's worth of groceries into a trolley and then pushed the bloody thing for one and a half miles back to our house.
We looked stupid, pushing trolleys filled with cereal, milk, eggs, bread, fruits, Coke, candy, fish fillets, etc.

But we didn't care because the journey home was always fun. While some people bond over camping or fishing trips, the Morjon household bonded over trolley-pushing. We'd all kutuk-mengutuk some poor innocent sod that we know or act as complete idiots & start singing jiwang Malay songs (hey, we were Malay students in a foreign land... sometimes we miss corny shit).
That made the half-hour trolley-pushing journey seem so much shorter.

After unloading all our groceries, we'd leave the empty trolley by the kerb in front of our house. By the next morning, the trolley would be gone. I guess Coles hires people to collect "stray" trolleys.

Strangely, here in KL, I have never seen students (or anyone for that matter) pushing trolleys back home.
I've concluded that it's because either:
a) Local students are rich and can afford cars to carry their groceries, OR
b) Local students don't cook

Missing wife

I'm missing Mrs Todek, who's currently overseas studying.


On another note:
After 4 years, my Wira's passenger side power window finally broke down. 4 years is fair enough, I reckon. The driver side is still OK, mind you.

And Kuyt scores...

At your typical hypermarket...

Salesman: Abang, you sudah ada credit card maa? Visa, Master & Amex suma boleh lor.

Abang: Saya mau beli sayur la, brader.

Salesman: Sudah ada credit card belum? Banyak bagus, boleh collect points, masuk contest boleh pergi Beijing yo!

Abang: White rabbit ada racun. Mana boleh makan lor.

Salesman: Oh. Tidak apa meh. Can masuk contest menang BMW. This credit card ah, so very very good. Can pay at internet! People nowadays need credit card. If you don't have credit card u rugi. How u want to pay for your shopping, these two trolleys? U nak bawak cash banyak banyak? Nanti kena rompak.. baru u tau. Everyone now have credit card, sudah jadi macam itu keperluan, meh.

Abang: Ahem. Ahem. Ohh. Keperluan? Do you really think its wise of me to get involved in another financial transaction, especially now when the economy is on the brink of collapsing? With the US economy nearly destroyed, it will be just a matter of time before Malaysia suffers the same fate. Banks are going bankrupt by the minute and there's no sign of it getting any better any time soon. What happens if I lose my money? AIG pun dah collapse, Lehman lagi la teruk. What can you offer me? Credit card ni bagus sangat ke?

Salesman: Banyak bagus lor. Tak payah bayar annual fee maa!!


AIYO.
Bengong.
Fail.

Selamat Hari Raya

Wishing everyone a Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir Batin.

We're back at home, after a long drive from the kampung.
And while I was driving along the highway, I kept wondering;

What does R&R stand for?

Rest and Repair?
Relax and Read?
Rehat dan Riadah?
Rest and Recreation?
Rileks dan Rehat?

Bengong.

All in a Family

Mrs Todek was reading about sino-muslim families in the papers and fell in love with the idea of having a Chinese name. She said "Nanti kita letak nama Chinese kat anak kita boleh tak? Example Ilham Chee Wei Ming" (Yes, Mrs Todek's greatgrandfather was possibly Chinese but she is as remotely Chinese as Mr Todek).

Mr Todek said NO. Because it doesn't make sense. At all.

Mrs Todek is contemplating making a police report against Mr Todek for going against her wish; just like the Malaysians who make police reports every now and then about Anwar Ibrahim "buat kacau to our economy and politics" and Teresa Kok insulting the police and the poor over her "egg-dog food" remark (One wonders why the complainant never thought that if the police felt insulted, they could easily make a police report themselves but of course unlike these silly Malaysians, the police has better things to do, such as catch rapists and murderers, than make stupid and trivial police reports).

Seri Muka

The best seri muka is at Wangsa Maju pasar Ramadhan!

ramadan mubarak

Mr & Mrs Todek would like to wish everyone Selamat Berpuasa & Beramal...

Eat more than half a waffle masa sahur, pls..

Ezora

Can anyone please tell me what the bloody hell is happening in the most scandalous Malay drama ever, Ezora??

I'm confused. It's full of sick, incest relationships but somehow I still follow the series.

Parental Control

I feel like I've dropped a gazillion IQ points after spending one whole day watching Parental Control on Channel V.

I need to read a few issues of the Economist to compensate for this.

Zaman dulu2

I miss the good old days;
when the local kedai roti canai would play wrestling videos (it didn't matter if the PPV event was 6 months too late) all day long.
The pakciks at the kedai would then provide their own colourful commentaries, most of which were rather funny, in an innocent, orang tua way.

Pukul pakai kerusi!! Hantam kepala!!
Budak ni dah tak larat dah, mesti kalah punya...
Aku dah agak dia ni memang jahat, panggil member tolong belasah...

The pakciks didn't mind coming everyday to watch the same video. They had fun.
The roti canai and teh tarik was always good, not to mention cheap.

Watching wrestling was fun.



On another note, visit Bumi Semua Manusia for some insightful political commentaries, much better than this site. And definitely not a single mention of the word CUNT.

Burne

I know I'm not supposed to judge people, but I just hate the sight of YB Loh Gwo Burne.
I mean, all he did was snap a few photos of Lingam and now he's a bloody MP.
He's spent half his life overseas and can barely speak Malay.

Now he gets punched in the face.

Good.

The Spirit of Sharing

Mrs. Todek wanted to know if she could co-write on my blog.

Should I allow it?

It'll be interesting... or not.

I already said yes! But when she asked for confirmation, I stepped back and said I'd think about it.

I should just let her, shouldn't I?! After all, that's what good loving husbands do * yeah right*

So guys, watch out for Mrs. Todek! It'll be pretty obvious. You'll see.

What the?

I was watching TV3 the other day, and there was a feature on nasi kangkang.

Yes, NASI KANGKANG.

Hmm... nasi kangkang.
Nasi kangkang is a funny word.

Anyway... what's up with everyone having anal sex nowadays?
Flavour of the week, eh?

Nasi Kangkang!

Bodoh!

Atonement

I watched Atonement for the very first time, on DVD of course (RM4 in Batu Feringgi!).
Good movie, and interestingly, had the word CUNT displayed on-screen for at least 3 seconds.
And 3 seconds is a long time.

I didn't watch the film in the cinema when it was screened a few months back, so I'm really really curious if anyone knows whether you can see CUNT in GSC??

KK is lovely.
But nowhere near as lovely as NHAM.

Dutch failure

Since Holland self-destructed terribly in Euro, I have to cancel my proposed Dutch post. Instead, I've decided to be all "ketuanan Melayu, songkok wearing" and shit, so once again, another Bahasa Melayu entry. Bergembiralah!

Ambik kau - Khyril Muhymin, Badrul Bakhtiar, Fadly Baharom, Shafiq Jamal & Fauzi Shaari. Kedah played extremely well against Selangor, dodgy keeper apart. And all without 2 of their foreign players. But the only foreigner who did play was a genius. An intelligent playmaker!!

Ini ada satu kisah.

Ada seorang pengusaha padi & ternakan ayam agrikultur yang agak berada. Apa kata beliau dinamakan Pak Dawilah. Pak Dawilah ada sawah padi yang besar di Kepala Batas & juga ladang ayam yang tak kurang hebatnya. Pak Dawilah sedar dia tidak begitu cekap mengurus agrikultur, ye lah... dia lebih suka tidur di waktu petang dan juga melepak bersama menantunya, Khyril. Lantas, Pak Dawilah melantik seorang pengurus ladang hebat untuk menjaga sawah & ayam, dengan harapan pengurus ini dapat mengembangkan perusahaan agrikulturnya ini ke luar negeri. Mungkin ke Perlis.

Pengurus Ladang (namanya TS Malican - hmmm macam TS Elliot!!) seorang yang dahsyat hikmatnya & mempunyai ilmu urus ladang yang hebat. Pada awalnya, Pak Dawilah memberi 100% kepercayaan kepada TS dan hasilnya!! ya hasilnya!!!

Hasilnya ialah... keuntungan berlipat ratus kalimullah (oops) kali ganda! Dari 1 sawah padi, kini Dawilah ada 30 sawah padi (termasuk di Perlis & Sabah) dan lebih 1 juta ekor ayam. Semua dari titik peluh TS dan pekerja-pekerjanya. Dawilah awalnya bersetuju untuk mengambil 65% dari keuntungan dari TS dan selebihnya diberi kepada TS untuk melabur semula agar perniagaan dapat dikembangkan lagi.

10 tahun yang pertama, Dawilah untung banyak. Semua wang hasil ayam & sawahnya dapat digunakan untuk membangunkan rumah buruk Dawilah. Malah, seluruh warga kampung Dawilah diberi diskaun yang teramat murah untuk membeli padi & ayam. Penduduk amat menyanjung Dawilah disebabkan kemurahan hatinya.

Tapi Dawilah sebenarny tidak begitu cerdik. Ataupun pandai berjimat. Duit yang banyak itu digunakan olehnya sesuka hati. Dawilah membeli bot yang hanya digunakan 3 hari setahun dan juga membina koridor di kampung sebelah. Entah apa tujuannya? Itulah persoalan orang kampung.

Orang kampung pula sudah makin malas disebabkan sentiasa mendapat makanan murah. Duit yang lebih tidak disimpan tetapi digunakan untuk membeli telefon bimbit yang memainkan lagu Madonna. Ataupun Pop Shuvit.

Namun malang tak berbau. Harga ayam dan padi secara tiba tiba meningkat dengan mendadak. Kos menguruskan ladang juga naik dengan drastik. Untung Dawilah makin berkurang!

Dawilah terpaksa mengurangkan diskaun padi & ayam, menyebabkan penduduk kampung mengamuk sebab harga naik.

Penduduk kampung mengamuk kat TS Malican sebab harga padi & ayam naik. Walhal TS Malican cuma menjaga perniagaan sahaja, tiada kaitan dengan penetapan harga. Namun, penduduk kampung tetap mengamuk. Membakar koridor di kampung sebelah dan menghantar SMS jahat. Ini semua sebab penduduk kampung agak bodoh rupanya.

Dawilah pula makin terdesak. Dia hanya senyap sahaja.
Kemudian, dia berharap TS Malican dapat beri lebih duit kepadanya. Lebih dari 65% yang telah dipersetujui.
Bila penduduk kampung mengamuk, Dawilah tidak pun mempertahankan TS Malican yang selama ini telah berkhidmat dengan penuh professionalisme dan cekap. Malah, dia pula mengharapkan TS untuk memberi penjelasan kepada penduduk kampung berikutan masalah ini.

Dawilah Dawilah.

OK itu saja.

You must give me some credit for having the dedication to write this long. In MALAY!!! What the hell. The last time I wrote this long in Malay was probably during peperiksaan Bahasa Melayu SPM.

Next post in Turkish. Just because Turkiye played well above expectations and provided a lot of drama.
Colin Kazim Kazim Kazam!
Emre Belegzolu.
Doner Kebab.
Pide.
Carpet murah, good quality.

Itu sahaja.

Say hi to your mum for me.

Manyak Minyak

Dutch backpacker : Why don't you talk in Malay? (to me & wife)

Ceh. Nah, aku blog "in Malay"!

Baru baru ini, harga minyak petrol (dan diesel) telah naik dengan amat banyaknya.
Harga minyak mentah dunia sekarang sudah menjangkau US$ 130/liter jadi, nak tak nak sudah tentu lah harga minyak naik jugak.
OK. Itu aku boleh terima.

Tapi kalau naik banyak sangat sekali harung (in one go) memang la sakit hati. Pak Lah dengan selamba suruh "ubah gaya hidup" & potong elaun keraian menteri sebanyak 10% untuk menjadi contoh teladan yang ideal kepada kita semua. By the way (Walaubagaimanapun??), apa kah ke jadahnya elaun keraian itu? RM 18K sebulan? Untuk Pak Lah? Pak Lah dah la tidur semasa meeting, oops mesyuarat.

Pada hemat aku, Pak Lah tidak berapa bijak. Tak anticipate kenaikan harga minyak walaupun harga sudah naik dengan steady sejak 2-3 tahun lepas. Kenapa? Sebab Lah sibuk nak bukak koridor. Bengong. Koridor banyak banyak pun buat apa. Lepas tu belanja RM 17 juta untuk "menganjurkan" CYC yang tak diiktiraf. OK, ni bukan kerja Lah secara langsung tapi... lantak Lah.

Kalau kerajaan (sebab Pak Lah sekor sekor memang tak terpikir punya) cuba pikir dan tengok gambar yang lebih besar (look at the bigger picture) sepatutnya dapat menjangka harga minyak yang akan naik uncontrollably (tak terkawal). Oleh itu, mungkin kerajaan dapat menyediakan infrastruktur prasarana anjakan paradigma yang bersesuaian untuk menghadapi krisis ini.

Tetapi.... TIDAK. Mereka berbelanja sesuka hati. Koridor sana, indelible ink sini, CYC sana, election sini, bagi duit kat hakim dan lain lain lagi. Nah, sekarang lihat.

LIHAT!!!

LIHAT!!!

LIHAT lah brader.

Baru nak terhegeh hegeh menstrukturkan semula subsidi and taik (shit). Namun, segalanya sudah terlambat, SYAITAN!!!

Hahahahaha.

Tolong tengok siaran ulangan Gado Gado kat Astro Ria. Memang lawak gila babi.

Entry berikutnya dalam bahasa Belanda. Ruud van Nistelrooy, Sneijder, Robin van Persie, Giovanni van Bronckhorst, Marco van Basten, Rijkaard.

Sekian terima kasih.

Lawak

Bolos saja dinding itu!!!!!

Insane queue

Just like any typical kiasu Malaysian, I too ended up being stuck in a ridiculously long (and quite pointless, really) jam to fill up my car up to the brim with 1.92/litre petrol.

And I wasted 1 1/2 hours of my life doing this. Unsurprisingly, nearly a million people did the same thing.

How much can you save, really?

June Post

Another post for another month.

I got married recently. The kenduri & all the related events were chaotic (typical of Malay weddings) and also tiring, but I'm happy.

I'm so happy I might even write another post this month.

May post

Just to satisfy my self-imposed "minimum 1 post a month" requirement.
Yup, this blog is experiencing a SLOW death.

Out of the Champions League.
Ban the Israelis!

Cendol

What makes tasty cendol?
Is it the green worm-ish stuff?
Or the gula merah? (it IS gula merah, right?)
The santan, perhaps?
Or the ice?


Damn, aku nak cendol.

Gentel

If you've ever played any sort of football (be it futsal, bola padang or whatever), you probably have heard shouts like these:

"Weii!! Jangan gentel sangat!"
"Banyak gentel ni!"
"Mamat ni main gentel je!"
"Gentel!!!"

GEN-mother fucking-TEL!

Gentel is a funny word.
And let's be honest, it's very dodgy too.

I'm still trying to figure out how gentel made its way into the footballing world.
It's quite puzzling, actually.

A-ha!

I guess we might not have to put up with bullshit corridors anymore.

Kesian Pak Lah.

March post

Harry Connick's real cool.
Sharply dressed in an impeccably smart suit, he can charm his way out of anything.
And he can sing a bit too.
Dammit.

March is when F1 starts. I'm excited.
March is also when mengundi starts. I'm not as excited.

Since I'm an ignorant idiot who didn't even bother to register, I guess I'll just have to be happy with another term of Pak Lah's sleeping-troughout-meeting, corridor bullshitting and KJ's ass kissing antics.


And oh, thanks for all the comments. It really inspired me to blog again. I just can't thank you all enough for the amazing support you've given.

RTM 1 is pathetic.

Mereka berkonspirasi!!
Berlainan parti, satu identiti!!

What the hell.
It's nothing more than a glorified government propaganda.

Anyway, selamat mengundi.

Slow

I still struggle to understand the concept of a reverse takeover.
Maybe I'm just slow.

The very the

My fiancee is mad, but in cheeky kind of way.
That's why I love her.

Mighty morphing plastic voters

I read an interview with the EC Secretary in the Sunday Times.
He was asked a range of questions about the upcoming election, i.e. voter registration, indelible ink, etc.

The interviewer then questioned him about allegations of phantom voters in a few voting areas.
He vehemently denied such allegations. And to prove his point, he gave an example.

EC Secretary
In Pengkalan Pasir, there was even a claim that people could transform themselves into little plastic men and go through small holes to vote. That's what PAS claimed.

Interviewer
Did you investigate it?

DID YOU INVESTIGATE IT????

Hahahahahhaha.
Damn, that's bloody hilarious. I'm not sure how the NST bloke can keep a straight face when he asked that question.

Plus, if I can transform myself into a little plastic man, I wouldn't waste my time to cheat votes. There are so many other evil stuff I can do.

PAS surely can't be serious. Come on. We know they're all spiritual and stuff (I wanted to use shit instead of stuff but I'm afraid some idiot would say I said PAS is shit), but this is too ridiculous.

Hey.. maybe these little morphing plastic voters can be on Who Wants To Be A Superhero; by far the most bizzare and stupid reality show ever.

Rafa has to go

Rafa Benitez should start packing his bags already. He'll be lucky to survive until the end of the season.
I'm expecting Uncle Rafa to get the sack if we don't qualify for Champions League next season.
His over complicated formations and tactics, coupled with his ever-present stubbornness to not start Abang Crouch has led to his downfall.
Sorry, but we're now so far away from the top 3 it's beyond embarrassing. Definitely among the worst performances, reminiscent of the time when Houllier lost the plot.
But at least Sissoko's gone. For 8 million pounds - that's a GREAT deal!!!

On another note, Kedah are still kicking arse this year. Belasah orang home and away!

Orang Tua Terasa

It's weird that the older you get, the quicker you terasa.
Even innocuous, harmless things people say or do will upset you.
The mood swing then kicks in, although you know that it's ridiculous to get upset over simple & trivial things.

That's why I don't like to write about personal things in my blog.
I don't enjoy reading posts that are a bit too emotional either.
It gets too personal & more often than not it will upset you.
The reaction after reading one of these emo posts would either be "I don't want to know this" or "I only found this out through the Internet?".
Neither is good.

New Year Post 2

It's been 36 days into the new year and only now I'm putting up a new post!
That's disgraceful, shocking! - for such a dedicated and committed blogger such as my good self. I apologise to all the readers who've been eagerly waiting (seriously, ada ke readers pun?) for my next profound, brilliant, intelligent, smart, witty entry. I have disappointed you.

Yeah, right.

New Year Post

It's difficult to figure out what to say when you're in a fucked up situation.

It was me. She was a "personal friend".
Good try Chua Soi Lek. You're still sacked. Don't think admitting you made a mistake is "noble" and shit. That was the only thing you CAN do without totally losing your dignity (which you now have very little). And hoping that you'll be forgiven is just wishful thinking, uncle. People do have a holier-than-thou attitude. Plus, you're fucking old. It's disgusting.

He sounds like me, talks like me, looks like me but I can't say if he's me.
Classic weasel talk. This is bullshit. It doesn't make any sense at all.
Are you joking, Lingam? What the hell have you been smoking? You should have said "It was me. HE was a "personal friend"", minus the DVD, I hope.