Bullet proof

A bloke named MJ Tordon was driving back from his kampung, his sister sitting next to him in the passenger seat. Now, this MJ Tordon chap thinks of himself as a music expert, and would spend hours & hours of time researching the most obscure of bands on the planet and casually name drops a few when being engaged in a conversation with others.

MJ Tordon: Yeah, Joy Division is alright but they're not half as good as XXXXX (insert obscure "cool" band name here - example The Frizzy Zombies of Makasar Experience in 30 Seconds to Hell)

And he'll be all smug and shit upon seeing other people's blank, confused reaction to what he said.

MJ Tordon: (Yeah, fuck you biatch! I'm waaay cooler than you, haha)

Anyways, on the drive back home MJ Tordon's sister tuned the radio to some Malay station. MJ Tordon is not a fan of Malay music at all. In fact, he looks down on anyone singing in Malay, as if it were something that is terribly embarrassing, and reckons that people would be better off killing themselves than being caught playing lagu Melayu.

MJ Tordon: What the hell? Lagu apa ni? Ntah apa apa. Jiwang karat.

MJ Tordon's sister: Whatever. Lantak kau lah.

MJ Tordon: Ni lagu apa pulak ni? Kalis peluru? Apa jadah? Nak gi war against terrorism ke lagu kalis peluru?

MJ Tordon's sister: Kalis Rindu lah, idiot.


P/S: Of course, the real MJ Tordon is not an idiot at all. Far from it. In fact the real MJ Tordon is actually Dr. MJ Tordon, he is of Russian/Serbian descent and teaches the subject Computer Science (or something like that, I don't really remember).

Tak percaya? Google him up.


Hmm.. where do I begin?

Street demonstrations are the in-thing right now. It's so cool even lawyers are doing it. But I'm sure you're thinking, "Hmm... I want to jump on this demonstration bandwagon, but I don't know how...". Well, boys & girls, here's how:

Firstly, you need to apply for a permit, which is kind of useless since it will definitely be denied, but it doesn't matter since you'll be on the streets protesting anyway. And then the police will come and throw a bit of tear gas at you, but as a first rate protester, you won't let this bother you.

No, not at all. Instead, you heroically pick up the tear gas bomb and throw it back to the "hanya menurut perintah" gentleman while shouting "Bersih-kan parlimen!" or "Hindraf-kan kerajaan!" or whatever the fuck you say when you hurl tear gas at cops. And then you get caught. Al-Jazeera of course will be there, capturing every minute of your moment of glory on video, broadcast the footage on TV and even YouTube and then hey, you're famous. Then, some old geezer who runs the ministry of TV would shout at Al-Jazeera blokes (or lasses), accusing them of unfair, biased reporting while the lady on the other side calmly asks "But why was the assembly illegal, sir?".

I'll tell you why. Ini bukan budaya kita! And you show footage of some random riot overseas and repeatedly flash the preachy-ish message of INI BUKAN BUDAYA KITA, probably hoping that your viewers have the same idiotic view as you do. Of course it's not our bloody budaya, it's not even anyone's budaya for fuck's sake. As if there are countries who actually think riots & demonstrations embrace & enrich their culture. Are you seriously retarded?

Musa Hitam shares the same view. Or do I share the same view as the Moose? Ok, I stole his ideas... but still, its so bloody obvious that you just can't disagree with the man.

The End.



I haven't been updating the blog for a long while, not because I lack ideas, but more of lacking the motivation to write, period. I am experiencing difficulties in converting ideas into words, much less proper, grammatically correct sentences. Not in English or Melayu.