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I watched Atonement for the very first time, on DVD of course (RM4 in Batu Feringgi!).
Good movie, and interestingly, had the word CUNT displayed on-screen for at least 3 seconds.
And 3 seconds is a long time.
I didn't watch the film in the cinema when it was screened a few months back, so I'm really really curious if anyone knows whether you can see CUNT in GSC??
KK is lovely. But nowhere near as lovely as NHAM.
Since Holland self-destructed terribly in Euro, I have to cancel my proposed Dutch post. Instead, I've decided to be all "ketuanan Melayu, songkok wearing" and shit, so once again, another Bahasa Melayu entry. Bergembiralah!
Ambik kau - Khyril Muhymin, Badrul Bakhtiar, Fadly Baharom, Shafiq Jamal & Fauzi Shaari. Kedah played extremely well against Selangor, dodgy keeper apart. And all without 2 of their foreign players. But the only foreigner who did play was a genius. An intelligent playmaker!!
Ini ada satu kisah.
Ada seorang pengusaha padi & ternakan ayam agrikultur yang agak berada. Apa kata beliau dinamakan Pak Dawilah. Pak Dawilah ada sawah padi yang besar di Kepala Batas & juga ladang ayam yang tak kurang hebatnya. Pak Dawilah sedar dia tidak begitu cekap mengurus agrikultur, ye lah... dia lebih suka tidur di waktu petang dan juga melepak bersama menantunya, Khyril. Lantas, Pak Dawilah melantik seorang pengurus ladang hebat untuk menjaga sawah & ayam, dengan harapan pengurus ini dapat mengembangkan perusahaan agrikulturnya ini ke luar negeri. Mungkin ke Perlis.
Pengurus Ladang (namanya TS Malican - hmmm macam TS Elliot!!) seorang yang dahsyat hikmatnya & mempunyai ilmu urus ladang yang hebat. Pada awalnya, Pak Dawilah memberi 100% kepercayaan kepada TS dan hasilnya!! ya hasilnya!!!
Hasilnya ialah... keuntungan berlipat ratus kalimullah (oops) kali ganda! Dari 1 sawah padi, kini Dawilah ada 30 sawah padi (termasuk di Perlis & Sabah) dan lebih 1 juta ekor ayam. Semua dari titik peluh TS dan pekerja-pekerjanya. Dawilah awalnya bersetuju untuk mengambil 65% dari keuntungan dari TS dan selebihnya diberi kepada TS untuk melabur semula agar perniagaan dapat dikembangkan lagi.
10 tahun yang pertama, Dawilah untung banyak. Semua wang hasil ayam & sawahnya dapat digunakan untuk membangunkan rumah buruk Dawilah. Malah, seluruh warga kampung Dawilah diberi diskaun yang teramat murah untuk membeli padi & ayam. Penduduk amat menyanjung Dawilah disebabkan kemurahan hatinya.
Tapi Dawilah sebenarny tidak begitu cerdik. Ataupun pandai berjimat. Duit yang banyak itu digunakan olehnya sesuka hati. Dawilah membeli bot yang hanya digunakan 3 hari setahun dan juga membina koridor di kampung sebelah. Entah apa tujuannya? Itulah persoalan orang kampung.
Orang kampung pula sudah makin malas disebabkan sentiasa mendapat makanan murah. Duit yang lebih tidak disimpan tetapi digunakan untuk membeli telefon bimbit yang memainkan lagu Madonna. Ataupun Pop Shuvit.
Namun malang tak berbau. Harga ayam dan padi secara tiba tiba meningkat dengan mendadak. Kos menguruskan ladang juga naik dengan drastik. Untung Dawilah makin berkurang!
Dawilah terpaksa mengurangkan diskaun padi & ayam, menyebabkan penduduk kampung mengamuk sebab harga naik.
Penduduk kampung mengamuk kat TS Malican sebab harga padi & ayam naik. Walhal TS Malican cuma menjaga perniagaan sahaja, tiada kaitan dengan penetapan harga. Namun, penduduk kampung tetap mengamuk. Membakar koridor di kampung sebelah dan menghantar SMS jahat. Ini semua sebab penduduk kampung agak bodoh rupanya.
Dawilah pula makin terdesak. Dia hanya senyap sahaja.
Kemudian, dia berharap TS Malican dapat beri lebih duit kepadanya. Lebih dari 65% yang telah dipersetujui.
Bila penduduk kampung mengamuk, Dawilah tidak pun mempertahankan TS Malican yang selama ini telah berkhidmat dengan penuh professionalisme dan cekap. Malah, dia pula mengharapkan TS untuk memberi penjelasan kepada penduduk kampung berikutan masalah ini.
Dawilah Dawilah.
OK itu saja.
You must give me some credit for having the dedication to write this long. In MALAY!!! What the hell. The last time I wrote this long in Malay was probably during peperiksaan Bahasa Melayu SPM.
Next post in Turkish. Just because Turkiye played well above expectations and provided a lot of drama.
Colin Kazim Kazim Kazam!
Emre Belegzolu.
Doner Kebab.
Pide.
Carpet murah, good quality.
Itu sahaja.
Say hi to your mum for me.
Dutch backpacker : Why don't you talk in Malay? (to me & wife)
Ceh. Nah, aku blog "in Malay"!
Baru baru ini, harga minyak petrol (dan diesel) telah naik dengan amat banyaknya.
Harga minyak mentah dunia sekarang sudah menjangkau US$ 130/liter jadi, nak tak nak sudah tentu lah harga minyak naik jugak.
OK. Itu aku boleh terima.
Tapi kalau naik banyak sangat sekali harung (in one go) memang la sakit hati. Pak Lah dengan selamba suruh "ubah gaya hidup" & potong elaun keraian menteri sebanyak 10% untuk menjadi contoh teladan yang ideal kepada kita semua. By the way (Walaubagaimanapun??), apa kah ke jadahnya elaun keraian itu? RM 18K sebulan? Untuk Pak Lah? Pak Lah dah la tidur semasa meeting, oops mesyuarat.
Pada hemat aku, Pak Lah tidak berapa bijak. Tak anticipate kenaikan harga minyak walaupun harga sudah naik dengan steady sejak 2-3 tahun lepas. Kenapa? Sebab Lah sibuk nak bukak koridor. Bengong. Koridor banyak banyak pun buat apa. Lepas tu belanja RM 17 juta untuk "menganjurkan" CYC yang tak diiktiraf. OK, ni bukan kerja Lah secara langsung tapi... lantak Lah.
Kalau kerajaan (sebab Pak Lah sekor sekor memang tak terpikir punya) cuba pikir dan tengok gambar yang lebih besar (look at the bigger picture) sepatutnya dapat menjangka harga minyak yang akan naik uncontrollably (tak terkawal). Oleh itu, mungkin kerajaan dapat menyediakan infrastruktur prasarana anjakan paradigma yang bersesuaian untuk menghadapi krisis ini.
Tetapi.... TIDAK. Mereka berbelanja sesuka hati. Koridor sana, indelible ink sini, CYC sana, election sini, bagi duit kat hakim dan lain lain lagi. Nah, sekarang lihat.
LIHAT!!!
LIHAT!!!
LIHAT lah brader.
Baru nak terhegeh hegeh menstrukturkan semula subsidi and taik (shit). Namun, segalanya sudah terlambat, SYAITAN!!!
Hahahahaha.
Tolong tengok siaran ulangan Gado Gado kat Astro Ria. Memang lawak gila babi.
Entry berikutnya dalam bahasa Belanda. Ruud van Nistelrooy, Sneijder, Robin van Persie, Giovanni van Bronckhorst, Marco van Basten, Rijkaard.
Sekian terima kasih.
Bolos saja dinding itu!!!!!
Just like any typical kiasu Malaysian, I too ended up being stuck in a ridiculously long (and quite pointless, really) jam to fill up my car up to the brim with 1.92/litre petrol.
And I wasted 1 1/2 hours of my life doing this. Unsurprisingly, nearly a million people did the same thing.
How much can you save, really?
Another post for another month.
I got married recently. The kenduri & all the related events were chaotic (typical of Malay weddings) and also tiring, but I'm happy.
I'm so happy I might even write another post this month.
Just to satisfy my self-imposed "minimum 1 post a month" requirement.
Yup, this blog is experiencing a SLOW death.
Out of the Champions League.
Ban the Israelis!
What makes tasty cendol?
Is it the green worm-ish stuff?
Or the gula merah? (it IS gula merah, right?)
The santan, perhaps?
Or the ice?
Damn, aku nak cendol.
If you've ever played any sort of football (be it futsal, bola padang or whatever), you probably have heard shouts like these:
"Weii!! Jangan gentel sangat!"
"Banyak gentel ni!"
"Mamat ni main gentel je!"
"Gentel!!!"
GEN-mother fucking-TEL!
Gentel is a funny word.
And let's be honest, it's very dodgy too.
I'm still trying to figure out how gentel made its way into the footballing world.
It's quite puzzling, actually.
I guess we might not have to put up with bullshit corridors anymore.
Kesian Pak Lah.
Harry Connick's real cool.
Sharply dressed in an impeccably smart suit, he can charm his way out of anything.
And he can sing a bit too.
Dammit.
March is when F1 starts. I'm excited.
March is also when mengundi starts. I'm not as excited.
Since I'm an ignorant idiot who didn't even bother to register, I guess I'll just have to be happy with another term of Pak Lah's sleeping-troughout-meeting, corridor bullshitting and KJ's ass kissing antics.
And oh, thanks for all the comments. It really inspired me to blog again. I just can't thank you all enough for the amazing support you've given.
Mereka berkonspirasi!!
Berlainan parti, satu identiti!!
What the hell.
It's nothing more than a glorified government propaganda.
Anyway, selamat mengundi.
I still struggle to understand the concept of a reverse takeover.Maybe I'm just slow.
My fiancee is mad, but in cheeky kind of way. That's why I love her.
I read an interview with the EC Secretary in the Sunday Times.He was asked a range of questions about the upcoming election, i.e. voter registration, indelible ink, etc.The interviewer then questioned him about allegations of phantom voters in a few voting areas.He vehemently denied such allegations. And to prove his point, he gave an example.EC Secretary
In Pengkalan Pasir, there was even a claim that people could transform themselves into little plastic men and go through small holes to vote. That's what PAS claimed.
Interviewer
Did you investigate it?
DID YOU INVESTIGATE IT????Hahahahahhaha.
Damn, that's bloody hilarious. I'm not sure how the NST bloke can keep a straight face when he asked that question.
Plus, if I can transform myself into a little plastic man, I wouldn't waste my time to cheat votes. There are so many other evil stuff I can do.
PAS surely can't be serious. Come on. We know they're all spiritual and stuff (I wanted to use shit instead of stuff but I'm afraid some idiot would say I said PAS is shit), but this is too ridiculous.
Hey.. maybe these little morphing plastic voters can be on Who Wants To Be A Superhero; by far the most bizzare and stupid reality show ever.
Rafa Benitez should start packing his bags already. He'll be lucky to survive until the end of the season.
I'm expecting Uncle Rafa to get the sack if we don't qualify for Champions League next season.
His over complicated formations and tactics, coupled with his ever-present stubbornness to not start Abang Crouch has led to his downfall.
Sorry, but we're now so far away from the top 3 it's beyond embarrassing. Definitely among the worst performances, reminiscent of the time when Houllier lost the plot.
But at least Sissoko's gone. For 8 million pounds - that's a GREAT deal!!!
On another note, Kedah are still kicking arse this year. Belasah orang home and away!
It's weird that the older you get, the quicker you terasa.
Even innocuous, harmless things people say or do will upset you.
The mood swing then kicks in, although you know that it's ridiculous to get upset over simple & trivial things.
That's why I don't like to write about personal things in my blog.
I don't enjoy reading posts that are a bit too emotional either.
It gets too personal & more often than not it will upset you.
The reaction after reading one of these emo posts would either be "I don't want to know this" or "I only found this out through the Internet?".
Neither is good.
It's been 36 days into the new year and only now I'm putting up a new post!
That's disgraceful, shocking! - for such a dedicated and committed blogger such as my good self. I apologise to all the readers who've been eagerly waiting (seriously, ada ke readers pun?) for my next profound, brilliant, intelligent, smart, witty entry. I have disappointed you.
Yeah, right.
It's difficult to figure out what to say when you're in a fucked up situation.
It was me. She was a "personal friend".
Good try Chua Soi Lek. You're still sacked. Don't think admitting you made a mistake is "noble" and shit. That was the only thing you CAN do without totally losing your dignity (which you now have very little). And hoping that you'll be forgiven is just wishful thinking, uncle. People do have a holier-than-thou attitude. Plus, you're fucking old. It's disgusting.
He sounds like me, talks like me, looks like me but I can't say if he's me.
Classic weasel talk. This is bullshit. It doesn't make any sense at all.
Are you joking, Lingam? What the hell have you been smoking? You should have said "It was me. HE was a "personal friend"", minus the DVD, I hope.
A bloke named MJ Tordon was driving back from his kampung, his sister sitting next to him in the passenger seat. Now, this MJ Tordon chap thinks of himself as a music expert, and would spend hours & hours of time researching the most obscure of bands on the planet and casually name drops a few when being engaged in a conversation with others.
MJ Tordon: Yeah, Joy Division is alright but they're not half as good as XXXXX (insert obscure "cool" band name here - example The Frizzy Zombies of Makasar Experience in 30 Seconds to Hell)
And he'll be all smug and shit upon seeing other people's blank, confused reaction to what he said.
MJ Tordon: (Yeah, fuck you biatch! I'm waaay cooler than you, haha)
Anyways, on the drive back home MJ Tordon's sister tuned the radio to some Malay station. MJ Tordon is not a fan of Malay music at all. In fact, he looks down on anyone singing in Malay, as if it were something that is terribly embarrassing, and reckons that people would be better off killing themselves than being caught playing lagu Melayu.
MJ Tordon: What the hell? Lagu apa ni? Ntah apa apa. Jiwang karat.
MJ Tordon's sister: Whatever. Lantak kau lah.
MJ Tordon: Ni lagu apa pulak ni? Kalis peluru? Apa jadah? Nak gi war against terrorism ke lagu kalis peluru?
MJ Tordon's sister: Kalis Rindu lah, idiot.
TAMAT.
P/S: Of course, the real MJ Tordon is not an idiot at all. Far from it. In fact the real MJ Tordon is actually Dr. MJ Tordon, he is of Russian/Serbian descent and teaches the subject Computer Science (or something like that, I don't really remember).
Tak percaya? Google him up.