It's Tuesday

xxxxx It's the weekend. Hanging out on the sofa, channel surfing with my (alleged) friend.xxxxx

Me: Nak tengok channel mana ni? Takde cerita menarik.

Alleged Friend (AF): Mana mana laa. Aku dulu kat UK memang suka tengok TV. Semua cerita best.

Me: Tengok ni la. Melayu ni. Bagus. (Switches to channel 4, Anugerah Era or some shit like that).

AF: Oii. Apa jadah kau tengok ni. Camni aa cerita Melayu. Bodoh nak mampos. (Continues swearing for another 2 minutes)

Me: (Ignoring the swearings, still watching the TV).

AF: Diorang ni, takde suara nak jadi penyanyi. Harap muka je cun. Arsehole. Baik kau tukar channel la. Bukak Channel V ke ape, aku rasa skarang ade Club V.

Me: Fuck you. Aku tukar channel lain. (Switch to Channel 11. Jamie Oliver).

AF: Kat UK memang senang nak dapat daging, sayur fresh. Tu yang Jamie Oliver masak nampak sedap tu. Orang UK memang pakai barang fresh. Lepas tu masak pasta, pizza. Aku dulu selalu masak pasta. Senang je. Kerja pun kat Pizza Hut. Memang diorang jaga kualiti makanan. Bukan cam kat Malaysia. Ntah ape ape. Kerja Pizza Hut, tapi tak tau procedure, camne nak treat customer. Pastu kalau makan gerai, taruk Ajinomoto banyak nak mampos. Tu yang aku tak suka makan kat gerai gerai kecik ni. Aku lagi prefer duduk kat UK, at least makanan sume memang takde taruk MSG ni.

Me: (Switch to TV1, Highlights TM Liga Perdana)

AF: Malaysia padang buruk nak mampos. Camne kau expect orang nak main bola bagus. Dah la player tak reti nak control bola. Main cam baru belajar. Kat UK budak sekolah pun lagi bagus dari player Malaysia. Pastu berlagak macam star. Padahal macam sial.

Silence for about 5 minutes.

AF: Takde cricket ke? Aku dulu selalu layan cricket. Dengan member member, lepak pub, layan cricket. Selalu gaduh ngan geng geng India pasal cricket. Aku memang boleh layan satu hari cricket ni. Aku selalu follow.

Me: So sape menang Ashes this year?

AF: (Looking totally confused and sounding like a complete retard)
Ashes tu ape?

Ad Campaigns That Won't Work

Castello(!!) endorsing Julie’s cookies. This cracks me up for a million different reasons.
.
We have a cookie company promoting their cookies by putting a notorious criminal’s face on their packaging wrappers. Really? What were the marketing dudes at Julie’s smoking? We might as well have Hitler selling Big Macs.

Tell me where this is from

Here's looking at you, kid.

Office Cliche #297

"You have to present it in terms of dollars and cents. That'll grab the management's attention."

Drama in the 80's (or maybe it's the 70's)

My friend and I were talking the other day about how Malay movies nowadays are crap in one way or another. It's either a cheesy Yusof Haslam movie (Sembilu I, II, III....), or some idiotic cartoonish "comedy" (Senario, Mami) or overhyped (Sepet) or corporate sponsored (anything that has a Hotlink ad).
Whatever happened to all the old school dramas? I think there was one period in the 80's or late 70's that these dramas would come by the truckloads. You know, all the Esok movies. There's Esok Masih Ada, Tiada Esok Bagimu, Menanti Hari Esok and a couple more. The main dude was always Jins Samsudin.
And damn, those movies were hardcore tearjerkers, man!
I recall one of these Esok movies where Jins Sams lost 2 children because of leukemia from his wife then he was forced to remarry another woman and gets another child and the child dies or something like that. Can't remember what happened next but one thing I know is that is was damn sedih (for some reason). Movies back then were simple but they definitely had some impact to the audience. Unlike the movies of today.
Too bad they don't make any Esok movies anymore.